♡⸻ Rules

1. Everyone has to be 18 or older. While we're against ID-based systems of checking age, we do need you to give us some kind of verification from social media that you are 18 or older (i.e. accounts with your age on it). It is recommended you give your exact age in your intro or verification, but if not, it has to be an age range more specific than "18+" (e.g. "25+"). You also have to be willing to give your exact age privately if a mod or the owner ask. This rule is about body age, not internal age. Syskids/age regressors/etc. can talk freely here.

2. In addition to being an adult, everyone also has to be mature. Take responsibility for yourself, including your headmates. Accept criticism gracefully. Don't have meltdowns in the server if you can possibly help it (and, if you can't help it, maybe learn better emotional self-regulation before being in a server like this). If you are breaking this rule in the server, I may politely call you out on it in the server.

3. This server is trying to be a pleasant environment. Be nice to each other. No harassment. No bigotry. Don't be a nuisance. Take responsibility.

4. This server doesn't have a blacklist per se, but you're encouraged (and, by common decency, required) to spoiler heavy topics, NSFW topics, or overly negative talk if it comes up outside of designated spaces. While I understand you can self-ship with these things, this server also forbids positive discussion of JK Rowling's media or fictional characters who are Nazis. With regards to the last of these, I know there are sometimes situations where a character can be mistaken for a Nazi, so if I criticize a character for being a Nazi but you think I'm mistaken, feel free to clarify in the server or in DMs, but I have the final say. This doesn't include excessively fictionalized fascists like Star Wars villains or the like. Please do not request that I extend this blacklist. Please do not tempt me to extend it, either.

5. I don't want to have to ban people, but I may have to. If I had to ban someone, it would be for breaking rules in ways that contributed to an unsafe or unhealthy environment. You will receive warnings before being banned. Whether they are public or private depends on which is best for the situation that warrants the warning. You will get up to three warnings, but particularly egregious offenders, or people who repeat the same offenses, may be removed sooner than that.

6. I do not want to have to add more rules, but I may as necessary. Don't be the reason I have to add a new rule or policy. The exception is that it is okay to request policies in the interest of accessibility or combatting bigotry.

♡⸻ Policy on venting and politics

I don't feel like I can fully ban venting or politics from this server, because I believe "venting" can be subjective, and so can "political". I also wouldn't want to FULLY ban those things. However, things like political doomposting, really heavy and nihilistic venting, public spiraling, political discoursing, making the people of the server take care of you, etc. are forbidden. This ties into Rule 3, but it warrants being spelled out.

There are multiple vent channels, so that people who don't like venting don't have to see it. If venting arises in other parts of the server, please spoiler it. You don't have to spoiler it or censor it quite as much in your personal channels, but be mindful of the server's expectations for mature conduct.

#vent is for what you would think of as "regular-grade" venting. If topics that are normally deemed to be heavy come up in that channel (e.g. incest, organized abuse, sexual abuse, etc.), please spoiler them. Use your best judgment about "heavy topics".

#heavy-vent is intended to be a vent channel where heavier topics don't have to be spoilered. This is not "heavy venting" in the sense of "please heavily utilize this channel".

The self-ship, objectum, and plural sections all have both vent and heavy vent sections. Please be mindful of things like discussion of object destruction or fusion. Please do not speak positively about IRL harm, including innerworld abuse (separate from CNC) or self-harm (separate from solo bloodplay).

♡⸻ Policy on NSFW

I used to actively moderate a lot of NSFW, but I am somewhat burnt out from that, as well as from how people sometimes treat me when I heavily dedicate myself to dark kink. At the same time, I am still anti-censorship, and I believe sexual and kink topics have a place in all adult spaces. Furthermore, self-ship, objectum, and relationships inherently lend themselves to discussions of sex and kink.

Therefore, there are a variety of channels for discussing the sexual or kinky aspects of your self-ships, objectum relationships, or in-system relationships. You can also talk about "dead dove" kink topics - that is, kinky fictional or innerworld depictions of violence, incest, necrophilia, and similar topics within what this server allows.

This server DOES allow basically any kind of NSFW other than that which depicts underage characters or non-anthro animals, or that which violates our other policies in some way. It also does not allow NSFW discussion or glorification of real-life harm (that is, talking about hurting people IRL; some exceptions may be made like people who are glad that Charlie Kirk got shot or something). These policies are not strictly out of moral concerns but rather legal concerns and that I just don't want to have to frequently moderate certain things. Otherwise, go nuts.

Please be aware that I don't want people to predominantly think of this as an NSFW server, and if you're participating in sexual discussion, especially if it is for self-gratification, I'd really appreciate if you talked about less sexual topics too, even if it's just talking about how your day went in general chat.

If anything happens where Discord becomes more actively hostile towards NSFW-friendly spaces than it already is, I would delete the NSFW channels of this server and recreate them in another server on another platform that I would invite the users of this server to.

♡⸻ Policy on discussion of fictional or innerworld minors in relationships

Where it comes to this server, I have different legal concerns about the discussion of fictional characters who are minors and headmates who are minors.

Many of the laws that ban sexual discussion of minors do include fictional minors. However, I believe minors in adult-bodied systems would be considered a gray area at worst and legal at best, because they are real life people who are in adult bodies.

However, I am still somewhat uncomfortable with the concept of adult/minor relationships at all, or talking about children having sex with each other, while also not seeing age regressors as minors at all. At the same time, I'm also uncomfortable with fully denying systems the right to talk about their relationships with each other.

Romantic, queerplatonic, sexual, or kink F/Os who are not adults are not allowed to be discussed in the server due to legal concerns. I don't want to get this server banned or in trouble. Familial or regular-platonic F/Os are exempt if you don't discuss them in a sexual or kinky way.

In-system minors can be discussed in the plural relationships channels, but please spoiler sexual discussion about them. Age regressors who consider themselves adults are exempt, but please don't be sexually graphic about the bodies of people who appear as minors for any reason. (e.g. "||I had sex with a syskid||" is one thing, going into detail is another.)

Non-sexual, non-kinky discussion of innerworld minors in relationships with each other (unless there's a notable age gap, like a 7 year old with a 14 year old) does not need to be spoilered at all.

Also, this should go without saying, but please don't join this server if you're someone who would actually date a kid in real life.

♡⸻ Policy on RPF

To be honest, I have mixed feelings about RPF.

On one hand, I struggle to see how some things that are labeled "RPF" are any different from having a celebrity crush, writing historical fiction, or noticing that two guys in a band often make out with each other. I also don't see it as all that bad if the person or people are dead or historical, though I would consider it weird at best to self-ship with historical slave owners or other people who are known to have contributed to systematic dehumanization. I recognize this server is a private space, and none of the real people you self-ship with will see what you say about them here.

On the other hand, I feel like RPF can potentially contribute to the dehumanizing nature of fame (which not all celebrities necessarily want e.g. Kurt Cobain), I'm not exactly sure how I feel about "dead dove RPF" or anything of the like (separate from noticing when IRL brothers kiss onstage in real life), and I really don't like the idea of fanfiction about IRL minors. I've also been in a music fandom where a fan's RPF self-ship led to her stalking the band member's family so that was weird as fuck.

I would say this server cautiously accepts RPF within what else the server allows, but it might back out of that policy if people get really weird in a way I can't handle. Don't be the person who gets weird in a way I can't handle.

Fictionalized versions of real people (e.g. the Marquis de Sade in the movie Quills), characters based on real people (e.g. Vyvian Withnail from Withnail and I), or author self-insert characters (e.g. Raoul Duke from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) are exempt from this rule, as I consider them fictional.

Factives talking about their in-system relationships are not counted as RPF to this server, even if jokes about being an RPF system are fun.

♡⸻ Policy on accessibility

Currently, this server has no particular rules about accessibility. However, this is because nobody in the server has expressed need for them. If somebody joins this server and needs accommodations that the server does not already give them, they are encouraged to mention this in their application process or DM the owner about it.

Sometimes, accessibility requests create conflicting needs. For example, I use flashing graphics as AAC tools and cannot give IDs for them when non-verbal. While I like to think I am able to come up with solutions that balance everyone's needs, that means adding accessibility features sometimes looks like a conversation between myself and the person who needs accessibility, not just me complying straightforwardly with a request. However, I will never fully reject a request for accessibility unless it's something like introducing a blacklist so you don't have to see topics you find triggering but that are usually harmless.

♡⸻ Policies on discourse

While this server doesn't officially align itself with discourse stances and discourages discourse in the server, it is politically left-leaning, in favor of contradictory identities and queer inclusionism, anti-harassment, anti-censorship (cases against fascism notwithstanding), pro-kink, and anti-contact for consent-related paraphilias.

Its owner believes the transID community should use a different word for their experience, but some of the experiences are valid, especially if alternative terms (e.g. desirdae) are used. Its owner also wants nothing to do with radqueers or the radqueer community.

Basically, I support minorities and freedom of expression, and I want people with marginalized or unusual identities to feel and be safe here. However, there are certain communities I don't support because of their behavior or beliefs (e.g. transID and radqueer), and I don't really want them here.

♡⸻ Policies on sharing

Many members of the self-ship community are "non-sharing" - that is, they are not okay with the idea of sharing their F/O with anyone at all.

I feel that these people either cannot put a healthy layer of distance between themselves and fiction (if they don't see their F/O as their real partner) and/or they have extreme and toxic jealousy issues (if they do see their F/O as their real partner). Even if this is somehow not the case for an individual, non-sharers are known for toxic and harassing behavior, and I don't want anything like that remotely near this server.

At the same time, I understand that some people may have certain concepts about their F/Os that other self-shippers don't share, and if your F/O is your real partner, it CAN be jarring to see them with someone else, even if you don't have a real problem with it. Some people may be cautious when engaging with people who self-ship with their F/O.

This server is officially doubles friendly and will never have a no doubles list. The same goes for fictionkin as well as F/Os. However, there are a few roles available to indicate how you feel about sharing.

"I love to share" means "If we have an F/O in common, we can gush about them together". "Cautious sharer" means "I have more reservations about doubles, please don't assume I want to hear you talk about our shared F/O directly to me or treat it as fun that we both self-ship with the same character". "Sharing self-shipper" is there for "I share my F/O but do not have strong feelings about it".

♡⸻ Further questions

I prefer to handle most questions privately, because in order to answer them, I sometimes find myself having to explain my thought processes, and I dislike doing so in a semi-public space where I may not explain things right on the first try.

Please use the #owner-mod-ping channel to ping me (or, if applicable, a moderator) to DM me about the matter privately. My base account is @⛧Local Void⛥.

Depending on what it is, I may add a new policy or rule addressing whatever you brought up. This does NOT fit under "don't be the reason I have to add a new rule"; that's more in reference to when people cause problems and FORCE me to add new rules. New rules added as per private discussions are up to my own discretion.

This website has a questions page that answers potential questions or explains other aspects of the moderation that are not codified into the rules.